Child Custody
Alternative Schedules (Children of All Ages) — by Parents'
Divorce Style
The following alternative child custody plans and parenting
time schedules for separated or divorced parents are from
the latest studies and review of developmental research by
family, child custody and divorce mediator, clinician,
educator and
author
Robert Emery, Ph.D.
Exclusively on our site on the web, these are graciously shared with Dr. Emery's permission.
 Dr. Emery is a nationally recognized expert on
children, divorce and child custody. A Professor of Psychology and Director of
The Center for
Children, Families and the Law at the University of
Virginia, Dr. Emery has authored more than a hundred
scientific publications and several books, including his
latest on children, divorce and child custody issues:
The Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing With the
Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive.
Dr. Emery’s unique approach focuses on his conviction
that parents’ “divorce style” (a couple’s style of relating
with each other after their separation) critically
influences the success of different child custody and
parenting plans. Accordingly, for each age grouping of
children, he suggests different child custody parenting plans and
timesharing schedules for each of three divorce styles:
- traditional timesharing options for an “angry divorce,”
- more integrated timesharing options for a “distant divorce,” and
- closely integrated timesharing options for a “cooperative divorce.”
Like Dr. Joan Kelly with her
Child Custody Parenting
Plan Options (for Children of School Age), Dr. Emery also is emphatic that his
alternative timesharing schedules are
child custody and parenting plan options
to help you consider and develop an appropriate timesharing and parenting
plan for your family. As he writes: “You are
the leading expert on your children, and you should be the one to craft a plan that you think will
work best for them.”
With that caution and encouragement, here are some developmentally
appropriate child custody parenting plan or timesharing schedule
alternatives to consider
from Dr. Emery. These are suggested for the following
age groups:
Infants and Babies: Birth to Eighteen Months
Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce
- Every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., including an afternoon nap.
- Every Saturday from 9:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m.; every Wednesday from 3:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m., picked up at day care and returned to other parent’s home.
More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce
- Every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., including an afternoon nap; every Wednesday evening from 4:30 p.m. until 6:30 p.m., perhaps spending some time at the residential parent’s home.
- Every Saturday from 2:00 p.m. until 6:00 p.m.; every Monday and Wednesday from 3:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m., picked up at day care and returned to other parent’s home.
Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce
- Every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., including an afternoon nap; every Monday and Wednesday evening from 4:30 p.m.
until 7:30 p.m.; some contact/feeding/bedtime takes place at residential parent’s home.
- Two weekdays from 8:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m. (substituting for child care); every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m.; occasional Saturday overnights if the baby seems to tolerate them well.
Toddlers: Eighteen Months to Three
Years
Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce
-
Every Saturday from 2:00 p.m. until 6:00 p.m. Overnight until 10:00 a.m. on
alternate Sundays
- Every other weekend from 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, with an
overnight until 11:00 a.m. on Sunday. Alternate Monday evenings from 5:00
p.m. until 7:00 p.m. on the Monday following the weekend spent with the
residential parent.
More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce
-
Every Saturday from 9:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., including a nap. Overnight
until 9:00 a.m. on alternate Sundays. Every Wednesday evening from 4:30
p.m. until 6:30 p.m.
Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce
-
Every Saturday from 10:00 a.m. until 10:00 a.m. Sunday. Every Monday and
Wednesday evening from 4:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m.; some contact/feeding/bedtime
takes place at residential parent’s home.
-
Two weekdays from 1:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. (substituting for child care); every
Friday from 1:00 p.m. until 12:00 p.m. on Saturday.
Preschoolers from Three to Five Years Old
Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce
-
Every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. on Sunday.
- Every other weekend from
5:00 p.m. on Friday until 1:00 p.m. on Sunday. Alternate Mondays from 5:00
p.m. until 7:30 p.m. on the Monday following the weekend spent with the
residential parent.
More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce
-
Every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. on Sunday. Every Wednesday evening from 4:30
p.m. until 7:30 p.m.
-
Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Friday until 3:00 p.m. on Sunday. Every
Monday and Wednesday from 11:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m. picked up and returned to
day care.
Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce
-
Two weekdays from 1:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m.. (substituting for child care).
Overnights every Thursday night. Every other weekend Thursday from 1:00 p.m.
until 2:00 p.m. on Sunday.
-
Every Thursday from 5:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. on Saturday.
Early School-Age Children from Six to Nine Years Old
Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce
-
Every Friday from after school until 5:00 p.m. Saturday.
-
Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. Friday until 4:00 p.m. Sunday. Alternate Mondays from 5:00 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. on the Monday following the
weekend spent with the residential parent.
More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce
-
Every Friday from after school until 5:00 p.m. Saturday. Every Monday
evening from 4:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m.
- Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m.
Thursday until 4:00 p.m. Sunday. Alternate Thursday evenings from 5:00
p.m. until 7:30 p.m.
Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce
- Every Thursday from 5:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. on Saturday.
-
Every Wednesday from 3:00 p.m., until 5:00 p.m. on Saturday with one parent;
every Saturday at 5:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. on Wednesday with the other parent.
-
Every Monday and Tuesday with one parent; every Wednesday and Thursday with the
other parent. Alternate weekends from Friday through Sunday with each
parent.
Late School-Age Children from Ten to
Twelve Years Old
Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce
-
Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Friday until 4:00 p.m. on Sunday. Alternate Mondays from 5:00 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. on the Monday following the
weekend spent with the residential parent.
More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce
-
Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Thursday until 4:00 p.m. on Sunday. Every Monday evening from 4:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m.
Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce
-
Every Wednesday from 3:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. on Saturday with one parent;
every Saturday from 5:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. on Wednesday with the other
parent.
-
Alternate weeks with each parent with exchanges on either Fridays or Sundays.
Adolescents Age Thirteen to Eighteen
Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce
-
Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Friday until 4:00 p.m. on Sunday. Some flexible contact is possible during other times.
More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce
-
Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Thursday until 4:00 p.m. on Sunday. Dinner on the
“off” Thursday, plus some flexible contact during other “off”
times.
Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce
-
Every Wednesday from 3:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. on Saturday with one parent;
every Saturday from 5:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. on Wednesday with the other parent
with more flexibility to meet teenager’s own needs.
-
Alternate weeks with each parent with some flexible contact.
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For more details with respect to
these alternative child custody schedules for all ages
of children, and a user-friendly
guide to designing workable child custody and parenting time
plans, Dr. Emery's insightful divorce book, The Truth About Children
and Divorce, is highly recommended.
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Use of the Phrase “Child Custody”
and “Child Custody Plans” in
Colorado
“Child custody” and “child custody
plans”, “custody”, “custodian”,
“visitation” — all are
words which create confusion and distort the real issues of
how parents should best share time with (and even make
decisions regarding) their children. As most Colorado mediators
and divorce professionals, we don't use them, and the more
progressive and enlightened Colorado child custody and
divorce laws have abandoned them as well in favor of
phrases such as “timesharing schedules”,
“parenting time plans” and allocation of
“decision-making” and
“parental responsibilities”.
Only because we are so often asked
about Colorado child custody information, have we
reluctantly included these popular phrases in this section
of our website. (Please see our further discussion
about the new Colorado law's terminology at the Questions - Why Not Use “Child Custody” or
“Visitation”
Language in Discussing Colorado Child Custody Plans or Issues?
section of our website.)
Mediation of Colorado Child Custody / Parenting Plans
and Timesharing Schedules
Given the ongoing nature of their
relationship, many parents find family mediation especially well
suited as a positive process to help them communicate
effectively and to resolve efficiently divorce, child
custody, timesharing, parenting plan and other parenting disputes.
Indeed, Dr. Emery’s recent scientific studies detailed in
his book The Truth About Children
and Divorce
demonstrate the astonishing long term benefits to children
of families who take control of their own destiny, and
attempt to work out their own agreements in child custody or
divorce mediation! See our article about
Dr. Emery's research confirming divorce mediation's
persistent and positive effects on families.
For more information about mediation as a powerful
alternative to adversarial Colorado child custody, divorce or parenting
litigation, see our site's Why
Choose Divorce Mediation and (Colorado Divorce & Mediation) Questions
& Myths sections. Here, we answer other
questions, and debunk commonly held misunderstandings −
regarding Colorado child custody and Colorado divorce laws, court procedures and
alternative dispute resolution alternatives, such as family
mediation.
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