Choosing A Divorce Mediator
We're frequently asked:
“How should we select or choose a
family / divorce mediator — to handle our divorce?” As with many other issues in life,
there is no “one size fits all” approach to
choosing a divorce mediator.
Among important questions to
consider, you may wish to ask the
following, in
selecting a professional mediator to mediate your
divorce or family law case:
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Does the mediator have a law degree and family law
practice experience, and is the mediator informed of
divorce and parenting research?
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Does the mediator have substantive knowledge of the
subject matter of your conflict, or the issues you need
help with?
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Does the mediator have substantial experience?
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Does the mediator wear other
professional hats, or limit his or her work to dispute
resolution of divorce and family law matters?
1. Does the mediator have a law
degree and family law practice experience, and is the
mediator informed of divorce and parenting research?
Because divorce is necessarily a
creation of law, a lawyer's training
and real world practice experience (understanding how courts work and how Orders or Agreements
are commonly or best structured) is often of great benefit
to a successful divorce mediation. Mediation that includes a
consideration of
likely court outcomes with divorcing parties (sometimes
desired or desirable, sometimes not) necessarily requires
experience with how judges generally view certain legal or
non-legal issues. Non-attorney mediators may lack
credibility and persuasiveness in this task —
especially in lawyer-attended divorce or family law
mediation.
At the same time, most family lawyers
(and many attorney-mediators) do not
stay
current with the latest clinical research regarding child
development and the healthy structuring of (by way of
example) overnights in parenting plans with young children.
Many lawyers cite chapter and verse of books and resources
premised on studies
no longer considered authoritative. As detailed below,
finding a mediator with a background of working with
families with these issues and a commitment to continuing
education regarding divorce and parenting studies is often
very important.
2. Does the mediator have substantive
knowledge of the subject matter of your conflict, or the
issues you need help with?
Strong conflict resolution and
remarkable interpersonal skills may successfully move many,
if not most, family disputes forward. And, it is not the
case that a mediator must have high substantive expertise in
the area of the dispute, but . . . it certainly is
desirable.
So, the selection of the right mediator
for a given divorcing couple should always begin with an
assessment of the principal issues in dispute in your case:
Sophisticated parenting
issues (e.g., crafting a developmentally healthy
timesharing structure given clients’ unique/unusual
circumstances, special child problems or parenting
strengths and deficits) will usually benefit from
selecting a mediator with a rich mental health
background. Most parents will choose mediated
resolutions consistent
with artfully shared insights into what works best for
families and children with their unique constellation of
concerns. The mental health mediator’s
special expertise with parenting issues may be
invaluable.
More complex financial
issues (e.g., spousal maintenance planning, and
business division, retirement valuation, stock options
assessment and other such matters)
enormously benefit from selecting a mediator who has a
substantial familiarity and comfort mediating
issues with intricate financial and tax planning
implications. The attorney-mediator’s
substantive knowledge of settlement options may be
invaluable.
3. Does the mediator have substantial
experience?
Ultimately, experience is key,
however. An experienced family mediator with a mental health
background who possesses substantive legal, tax and
financial expertise; consults frequently with lawyer
peers; and knows how to frame and discuss spousal
support issues with a divorcing couple — may be a much
better choice than a novice attorney-mediator.
Similarly, an experienced attorney-mediator
who consults with a reliable network of parenting
consultants; becomes familiar with the literature and
research regarding childhood development and divorce; and
crafts a practiced structure to help parents consider such
issues — may be a much better choice than a novice mental
health background mediator.
4. Does the mediator wear other
professional hats, or limit his or her work to dispute
resolution of divorce and family law matters?
Consider also the nature of a
mediator's commitment to professional dispute resolution. Attorney-mediators who exclusively limit their work to
mediation often undergo an important transformation in their
conflict resolution style and values. The full-time practice
of mediation brings a neutrality and seasoned approach
difficult for lawyers still also acting in the “part-time”
role of advocating or litigating for other clients.
Our Mediators, at Divorce Resolutions®
Both Larry and Chris are highly
experienced full-time
attorney-mediators, exclusively
limiting their work to divorce and family law matters
(including parenting plan issues),
as they have for many, many years.
To learn more about their
collective and individual backgrounds, and to find out if
Colorado Center for Divorce Mediation™ might be an appropriate choice for you and your
family — consider the Why Choose Us, and Meet Our Mediators
sections of our
website. (These include Larry and Chris' individual
Colorado mediator profiles.)
If you haven't already, be sure also to review some of the
other commonly asked questions (and our answers) regarding Colorado divorce, divorce mediation and Colorado
family law — at our “Divorce
& Mediation Frequently Asked Questions.”
Next, consider some commonly held erroneous beliefs about divorce, divorce mediation and Colorado law.
We call them “Divorce & Mediation Myths,” and we'll do our best to “debunk” them!
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