A Tour Through Our Colorado Divorce Mediation Process
Here we’ll explain in some detail, how you work with us in our
family mediation process. We’ll also explain our
fees for divorce and family
mediation services, and provide information about our
mediation office locations, including maps and driving directions.
Initial Telephone Calls
Although many parties contact us
initially by electronic mail,
at Divorce Resolutions®, we personally speak by telephone
with both parties before scheduling a mediation. (Our
assistant,
Judy, generally obtains preliminary information and may
answer your basic questions about the mediation process and
our suitability for your divorce or family matter. If
helpful, Larry or Chris will followup your
inquiry.)
During this call or calls, we will describe our
mediation process, especially as it pertains to your particular family
circumstances, and answer questions you may have in deciding
whether mediation and working with us is a good choice and fit
for you. (Rather than provide a “complimentary in-office
consultation” and postpone our real work until later, we
prefer to give you as much information about our process as
you need — in advance of your first appointment, and of
course, without charge. When you come to our office, we want
to roll up our sleeves and get right to work!)
We speak with both spouses or
parents before scheduling, to emphasize that we are neutral
and there to assist both of you, regardless of who first
contacted us, and to learn of special issues that may
influence the way we work with you. We won’t
initiate a call to the second party (again, our process is a
voluntary one and won’t work without your spouse or
co-parent’s
willingness to consider it), but we will follow-up and return
calls promptly.
Before Meeting
After we have spoken with both parties,
and scheduled a convenient time for a first session, we will
forward a letter or E-mail confirming the time and place of our first
appointment, and including a
map and driving directions to our mediation offices. In that letter, we
will provide you with an outline of
Mediation
Topics which we will likely discuss to design a divorce
or parenting plan agreement, consistent with the requirements
of the Courts.
Many of our clients also appreciate an
opportunity to organize their thoughts and collect information
and documents, in advance of our first session. For that
reason, our scheduling letter will also include a List
of Helpful Information to Assemble that will direct and
facilitate your efforts to prepare in advance for our work, if
you are so inclined.
All three of these aids are available to
you from this website as well. (Just click on the above
links. To find all “new client introductory materials” organized by topic
and focus of your mediation, feel free to check out the special
Clients’ Resources section of our website.)
Ordinarily, we begin with both parties
together in our first session. Why? We have sufficient
experience to manage most initial meetings this way and it is
more efficient and less costly than individual and separate
first meetings. Most of our clients seem to appreciate and
prefer this approach. On occasion, however, we may recommend,
or you may prefer, that both parties meet individually with us
before a joint session. (This can be especially helpful with
longstanding and higher conflict situations, when there is
substantial history that one or both parties wish to discuss
privately, or when there are issues of partner violence or
abuse and security concerns.)
First Mediation Session
We generally are able to schedule a first
joint session one to two weeks after our telephone meeting.
In this initial session, we will discuss
the mediation process briefly, learn the “big picture” of
your divorce or parenting dispute, and agree on an agenda to
work through the relevant issues. We will then assist you to
begin the real work of discussing options and developing an
agreement on all necessary matters. Often, it is helpful to
determine “homework” to better prepare for the next
session.
Session Length
and Appointment Times
We schedule all sessions as two hour
appointments (with the exception being mediation appointments
with attorneys present; these are generally scheduled for a
half day). Like most mediators, we have found this to be an
optimal length of time for couples working directly together
with the mediator. Shorter appointments simply don’t
allow you to remain focused and to “get through” and
resolve certain issues. With longer appointments, mediators
and clients often get too fatigued to continue meaningful
progress. (On occasion, particularly with parties coming from
a long distance, we do schedule for longer sessions. More
frequent sessions are simply not practical, given the travel
times involved for one or more parties.)
Larry and Chris ordinarily each schedule
only two mediations per day. Morning sessions are generally
scheduled to begin at some time between 8:30 to 10:00 a.m.
(thus ordinarily ending at 10:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.), and
afternoon sessions are generally scheduled to begin at some
time between 1:30 to 3:00 p.m. (thus ordinarily ending at 3:30
p.m. to 5:00 p.m.).
Because the process of divorce mediation
is a dynamic, evolving process, we dictate detailed notes
immediately after each session, and we typically prepare for
each session by reviewing the work of the previous session.
This is an integral part of our process, but we do not charge
additional fees for this work.
Subsequent Mediation Sessions
Generally, we will meet with you in
mediation every several weeks.
(Sometimes, because of clients’ needs,
we compress our work and meet more frequently, and other times
we meet much less frequently, due to one or both parties’
travel or restricted availability.)
This is often an optimal “spacing” of
our work. It allows both parties time away from the mediation
process to consider and discuss with others — if they
choose — their emerging plan. It also provides an opportunity
to gather and research information of importance (for
themselves or to assist their spouse or co-parent).
We continue with our meeting in this way,
until all issues have been discussed and resolved and an
agreement reached!
Our Memorializing Your Agreement
Although it is optional, nearly all
couples will ask us to use our expertise to write up their
unique and final Agreement. This is an extremely important
task, since the written form of the agreements you reach with
your spouse or co-parent is reviewed by the judge or
magistrate. The Agreement is the capstone of all your efforts
and if approved, becomes the form of the Court Order that (at
least in the event of a future conflict) governs your
after-divorce relationship with your former spouse or
co-parent.
This writing reflects your
agreements, and we avoid any “legalese” in its expression,
but we pride ourselves on the completeness, professionalism,
and formatting of this final document called a “Memorandum
of Understanding.” [To view a sample first page
of this document,
disable any “pop-up” controls on your computer.] The lawyer form of this same
Agreement is usually called a “Separation Agreement” —
an odd phrase, perhaps, to describe the final divorce
document! We regularly work with many family law attorneys
who, after review, adopt without reservation and submit to the
Court our “form” of a couple’s mediated Agreement. (Again,
your use of an independent attorney, although recommended, is
optional.)
After your mediation efforts are
concluded, we reserve a significant block of time (as noted
earlier, usually a full day — although we only charge for a
portion of this drafting time) to author your Agreement.
Generally, later in the afternoon of that day’s effort, we
meet with you to review and revise this draft.
Mediation is a voluntary process, from
beginning to end, and at Divorce Resolutions®, we do not
permit couples to sign their Agreement at our office. We
believe you should have the opportunity to review it carefully
with whatever advisors you wish (an attorney, accountant,
financial planner, other family, friends, etc.), and away from
any pressures of meeting together. The goal, of course, is to
develop in our work together agreements that will stand the
test of time, not agreements hastily signed under pressure. Of
course, many of our clients choose not to review the Agreement
with others.
At this session (usually our last meeting
together), we also review with you the final Court process and
assist you in understanding the final Colorado
Court
Forms. A comprehensive checklist is provided, with all
required documents to submit to the Court. (Some of these you
may have completed on your own, even before this final
session, and these are accessible to you from this website as
well.) If you are mailing in your documents (see our Frequently
Asked Questions re Colorado Divorce and Colorado Mediation
on when this may be appropriate), we
even provide you with labels and self-addressed envelopes —
to streamline your final steps in the process!
How Long Does the Entire
Mediation Process Take?
We are focused in our style and approach.
Most couples with children (this expands
the topics to be considered, of course!) will meet with us
between two and four sessions (of two hours length) to
consider, discuss and arrive at a mutually acceptable
resolution of, all divorce issues. Many divorcing couples
without children will meet with us only two or three sessions,
occasionally even less. Child support modification or
post-divorce parenting issues may require as little as a
single session!
Of course, many factors can influence how
long it will take to complete your mediated divorce and we
will discuss these with you in our initial telephone call.
Parties who tend to be in more conflict with each other, have
more persistent child custody and parenting difficulties, or who
have more complex marital estates or more challenging support,
tax planning and retirement issues will often require more
time.
No process (lawyer-assisted,
do-it-yourself, or mediated) can complete your divorce in less
than ninety days. (This so-called ‘cooling off period’ is a
requirement of Colorado law, seeking to keep divorcing parties
from acting impulsively.) However, it is almost always
possible to complete your entire mediated divorce well in
advance of this required waiting period! As you may well
imagine, contested litigated divorces can take many additional
months or even a period of years to finally complete.
What Does It Cost? See our site's
Fees page, to learn about the costs of our services for
divorce and family mediation.
Further information about related issues can be found in our
site's
Frequently Asked Questions and Myths Regarding
Colorado Divorce and Colorado Mediation.
You may also find our
FamilyCraft: The Private Practice of Divorce and Family
Mediation blog, of interest.
If mediation seems sensible, and you've chosen to work with us in mediation of
your divorce or parenting matter, consider next visiting the
Colorado Divorce Mediation Tools and Forms
section of our website. Here,
you'll find free special tools and Colorado divorce and
court forms to facilitate your planning for your mediation.
These tools and forms can be very helpful, even if you are not
working with us!
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