Divorce is one of the hardest challenges that many adults face, but it can be even harder for children. The trauma of parents splitting apart can create a wide range of negative emotions that may even prompt children to blame themselves for the split. Moreover, divorce is likely to be a core memory that will continue to impact choices, values and behavior for the rest of their lives, so parents should avoid unnecessary trauma.
Parents will often say that they put the children first, but a divorce can then spin out of control as the contentious drama plays out in court. The impact causes additional stress and turmoil during this time of change.
Better for parents
Mediation is often the best for parents to settle matters when filing for divorce. Family court here in Colorado encourages couples to start with mediation because of such advantages as:
- It has a lower cost than a pricey courtroom battle
- It empowers parents to make choices together rather than leaving it to a judge
Better for the kids
The above reasons are undoubtedly crucial advantages, but the format is particularly helpful for families with children because it emphasizes the positive. This means:
- Kids not caught in the middle: The collaborative approach where parents work with a mediator keeps the family unit from splitting apart even when there are two homes.
- Sets an example: The respectful split epitomizes grace under pressure and shows the kids that the parents respect each other.
- Provides tools for resolving disagreements: Parents will disagree, even happily married ones. The mediation process offers tools for building a working relationship that resolves disputes fairly and respectfully.
- Personalizes the arrangements: Personalizing the details of the parenting plan and custody agreement means less disruption and confusion among the kids and parents.
Getting a win-win result
Many believe that mediation is a win-win for divorcing spouses trying to resolve issues regarding custody, parenting plans, support, and even dividing assets. It does this by fostering resolutions where the parents terminate a marriage on their terms while creating an environment where the children can thrive.
