You’re starting mediation next week, and wondering what you can do beforehand to prepare. Here are a few things to think about prior to your first meeting.

Make a list

Have any questions walking into mediation? Write them down ahead of time. Any concerns? Write those down, too. Please write down any thoughts you have pertaining to meditation prior to mediation, and bring that list with you.

It’s also not a bad idea to write down some of the specific things you’d like to accomplish in mediation. While some things may or may not be possible, writing them down and having the chance to then discuss them at mediation will give you and your ex a clearer picture of the expectations and realities in your journey ahead.

Finances

Bring with you a compete outline of all of your assets: bank account balances, savings, 401K, Roth IRAs, etc. Bring with you a complete list of your debts as well — from your house mortgage to credit cards and loans. Bring a list of any rental properties you own, timeshares you’re a part of, or anything else you can think of that you can both jointly claim. Anything you deem as an asset, made note of it and bring its documentation with you.

Be in the right headspace

If you’re able to, create space between mediation time and anything else. Don’t come directly from work or get off a heavy talk with your brother about mom’s nursing home—save this for another time.

Instead, go for a short walk before mediation. Or grab a cup of tea and sit by the water. Create space in your car that is calming when driving to mediation with not listening to the news or heart-wrenching break-up songs. Know that you are doing the hard work by coming to mediation. Allow yourself time for rest beforehand.