Your Colorado Center
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Will mediation work if my spouse and I don’t get along?

Will mediation work if my spouse and I don’t get along?

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Mediation gives divorcing couples a chance to settle their issues in a friendlier manner than if they went to court. But as you weigh whether to use a mediator or go through the court system for your divorce, you wonder this: If we don’t get along well enough to stay married, how will we get along well enough to get divorced amicably?

That’s where a skilled mediator becomes essential.

Divorce is emotional, and the emotions run higher in some divorces than they do in others. A mediator is trained to sit down with both parties, hear out their concerns and let them talk out their thoughts. Often, that preliminary meeting with the mediator will give both parties a chance to calm down and return for a second mediation session with a clearer mind and a resolve to move ahead.

Remember that the mediator is neutral. Mediators aren’t on the side of either party. Their only interest is seeing to it the divorcing spouses achieve a successful resolution to the issues surrounding their divorce.

Colorado couples who go the mediation route can expect:

  • To be given opportunities to speak without interruption
  • To be asked questions to clarify points
  • To discuss how each party views a “fair” resolution to child or spousal support, as well as child custody
  • The ability to tailor a settlement that best meets a couple’s needs and wishes – not what a judge imposes
  • That the mediator will treat both sides the same – the spouse who seemingly had the upper hand in the marriage won’t in mediation, where the playing field is level

Remember that no case is too complex for mediation. If there is one lingering issue the two sides can’t agree on, they can take a pause and return to the mediation table. If an agreement still can’t be reached, the divorce still can proceed with most issues settled through mediation and the remaining disagreement through litigation. Mediation is a terrific solution for most couples, and a valuable first step for the others.

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