The way that divorce is portrayed in the media often makes you think it’s contentious and that only one person really wants to get divorced. You have an angry spouse who files because they’re sick of a poor relationship, for instance, or you have a blindsided spouse who didn’t know the other person was even unhappy until they filed.
Both of these situations do occur, but you may find yourself wondering how often the breakup is mutual. Do couples get to a point where they both just agree that the relationship has run its course and needs to end?
This absolutely happens. It’s impossible to put a number on it because it’s not something that couples have to report but, just as many dating relationships lead to a mutual breakup, the same thing happens with marriages.
One way to look at the numbers is by considering how often people think about ending their marriages. One study said that more than 50% of those between the ages of 25 and 50 have considered it. If that’s true, it means that you have marriages where both spouses are thinking about divorce at the same time, whether they have vocalized those thoughts or not.
A mutual divorce may go very differently than one in which only one spouse wants to end it. If you and your spouse both just want to get divorced, then you can work together as you seek a solution. You have the same desires, the same goals and the same end in sight. That helps you cooperate and you may decide to use mediation instead of a traditional divorce in court. If so, make sure you know how to get started.